Transition

Today I heard a message from a wise man.  It was on the transitions in our lives.  Something (well, actually many somethings) stuck with me through the day.

To have a beginning, something else must end.
He used an acrobat on a trapeze as an example... to grab the new bar, you must LET GO  of the old.
Letting go.  I do not do that well.  I want to hold on.  To so many things: control, anger, fear, ... Change? Um. No.

There are so many things I want to write, but this is not the place.  Those things.  They are too private.  Too raw.  Too exposed.  They will be written in a private journal and at some point - when I am ready to LET GO - I will destroy them.

Right now I will hold on.  Maybe I will allow the Lord to loosen my fingers from the old bar and guide me to the new one.  I know He will  not let me fall because He will catch me.  He knows my fear and doubts.  He knows my concerns.  He loves me and wants me to heal and to have joy.

That brings me to something else.  Joy.  I have always always struggled with joy.  Happy I can do.  But joy... I don't have a fountain of it bubbling inside me.  I never have.  So still I wait.  Maybe when I can LET GO and grab that new bar, it will be there waiting on me.

Transition.  Caterpillars do it all the time.  Maybe I can too.