What's in a name?

A lot.

Let me explain.  I'm an amateur genealogist.  I love unravelling the puzzles of my family history and my husband's too.  His is a doozy, lemme tell ya.

I have a double name.  Very traditional - very southern.  I like it but I've quit being called the middle name for quite a while... something like 15 years, so if someone calls me the double name, I know they are either family or have known me for a long, long time.  And I'm okay with being a double-named Southern traditionalist.

Okay back to genealogy.  It's a sometime obsession for me.  I'll work on it for hours and hours and hours and not sleep for a few days while I do research ( and let me say thank GOD for online records - as much as love going to the Archives, it just isn't convenient and they just won't let me bring coffee in next to their microfilm machines) and then puzzle and moan and groan and make the family miserable with my stories of new discoveries.  Then I won't work on it for a long time, usually due to my paying work.

Okay what is my point anyway?  Oh yeah.  Names.

One letter can change a name.  One branch of my family has a name that end with an "s".  That name ending with an "r" is a completely different thing.  It's a different family.  So folks who read census records ASSUME that the one ending in "s" is wrong and make it the more common "r".  Why is that important?  Well... I can't find my great-great-great grandmother's daddy and it's driving me batty.  But because I have corrected the information that these two surnames are really different families, I can rule out a bunch of potential fathers for Marinda Joines Waller.

So this week I had the opportunity to travel and see where my family first lived in Georgia.  I found Waller Rd.  How cool?  (For those who don't know, Waller is my maiden name.)  I found Daniel New Bridge.  He was my great-great grandfather and was a Baptist preacher.  I found the homeplace of my great-great-great-great grandparents, Richard and Nancy Lightfoot (which is an English name, not Indian).  I took a lot of pictures of graves and then came home and did some research and wished I had taken about 200 more pictures of other graves.

Part of my fascination with genealogy is I feel a connection to these people.  Weird?  Maybe, but these are the people who shaped the people who shaped the people who shaped me.  Some of them have tragic stories.  Some of them are courageous.  Like Caterina Wessinger Kleckley who was captured by the Creek Indians in South Carolina, but was released because she was so stubborn.  I like her.  Like my Kleckley ancestors who fled Germany due to religious persecution and came to a place where they could worship freely.  Even my Scottish descended great-grandfather who had some sort of feud with siblings and changed the spelling of his last name to separate from them.    I see my green eyes and ears from my Big Daddy who died two years before I was born, and the crazy sense of humor I've been told about from my Granddaddy who also died two years before I was born.

I look at these pictures and visit these places and wonder about their lives, their homes, their faith.  And I thank them.  And thank God for them.

Quiet after the storm

My title here is a little deceiving... I like storms.  I like the lightening and the thunder (although it scares the bejeebers out of our dog Luna).  I like the activity.

This weekend has been one big flurry of activity.  I watched some really great kids graduate from high school, sitting with some really great co-workers.  Really, you should be as fortunate as I am to love a job so much.  And I really, really do.  My DD came home from a trip with her BFF's.  We cooked out and made ice cream.  We tried to eat outside last night but got rained on.  The guys worked in the yard, we ALL did some much needed spring cleaning, we watched some episodes of SNL (the first season), and had a family meeting.  This was all yesterday.  Part of the family meeting was satisfying my DS's merit badge for Boy Scouts, one he needs to earn his Eagle badge - which we are well on our way with.  I say "our" because the parents are highly involved with this process."  One thing we had to do was pick a project to complete as a family.  I want to redecorate and repurpose a room in the house but the guys were soooo not interested in that.  So I was reading the little guide book and it suggested teaching the family how to preserve food through canning and freezing.  I have done that a good bit before I started to work full-time and the kids always like the results (pear preserves - yum) so they decided we would do that as a family project.  It should be interesting.

So today is the quiet.  DH has gone to the office, DD and DS have gone to the movies and to run some errands, and I get to enjoy my house and the quiet-ness.  I will probably finish up another step of the spring cleaning, but I am also getting to read a book and will watch some food network before everyone gets home.  I will also sit down at the piano and see if I can find any music in my fingers and work on regaining some skill and dexterity.

I do love these days.

Family Reunion thoughts

Even the best of families have their demons.

But first the good part: We had a great reunion with a great family. Of the 5 siblings families represented we were missing only ONE of our 11 children. For the first time ever 10 of our children were together and my kids were reunited with a cousin they haven't seen in 10 years. It was wonderful. We missed #11 a lot, but the cousin who came said it definitely won't be so long before we see him again. If you are reading this Billy - I am proud to be your aunt. Or aunt-in-law or whatever you consider me.

We got to see first hand the insidious disease that alcoholism is. This family has suffered the effects of this disease for many years, as their oldest brother committed suicide under its effects and his clinical depression. He was a wonderful man. He did a terrible thing. Family members still do not want to talk about it 23 years later. His nieces who never had the chance to meet him want to know how and why, but they want to know him and hardly anyone will talk about him. His absence is felt every time.

If it ended there, I suppose it would be okay. Others concern us greatly and have for years and it went from laughable to just tragic as we watched the effects of alcohol each night. It is heart breaking.

I am not a tee-totaler by any means. I like a good margarita and a great glass of wine. I had a taste of a pretty good margarita and some really great wine. But I remained sober and played lots of board games with my absolutely fabulous nieces. I love these girls. Including DD, we ranged from 15 - almost 30, only missing the 35 year old niece. We also played poker and they are much better than me. I lost a lot of M & M's.

One niece in particular wanted answers this weekend. We talked to her and was honest. I felt choked up as I realized that these girls feel like something is missing. I remembered being a child and missing the fact I didn't have grandfathers. I always wanted to know them and my parents shared with me about their father's so I felt some connection to them. It probably wasn't my place to have this conversation but this child is 17. DH and I shared. His son shared a little too. I think it was good. I was hoping it would open up into something more on a spiritual level.

There are so many things I could talk about concerning this reunion. We loved hosting it and loved being with our whole family. We laughed a lot and cried a little. We hugged and watched videos and ate too much. We took a great trip to the mall (well, just me and my girls) and baked brownies. We were a family for at least a few days and it was great.