Now that I have your attention, I don't really have anything!!
Weight Watcher is going well and I have switched to the Simply Filling Technique, where I do not count points but focus on my satisfaction when I eat. Certain foods I do not have to count points for if they are fruits, veggies, lean protein and healthy oils. It is a very clean way to eat, with no processed foods, and I've been doing this for 2 weeks and it hasn't been hard.
I think I really needed to just shake things up a little.
My last picture was when I lost 45 pounds, and I haven't lost significantly more than that, but when I hit 50 I promise more pictures. I am anxious to be "finished" but I will never be able to go back to the way I used to be and eat. I would gain every pound back and more and I want so much to be healthy forever and to be the first generation to avoid the diabetes curse.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Drama... Family Style
You know when you have been close to someone before and you know it is time to let them go? I'm at that point.
My mother's family has always been FAMOUS for drama. Good Lord. They can take what you say and twist it and make it your fault. Actually - not they. Only a select few. My mother was one and now she is in heaven and pain is gone forever - physical, emotional and otherwise.
Here's the thing. I was recently in contact with a cousin I haven't heard from or seen since my mother's death. And I discovered something... she has ALL the drama. ALL of it. Bless her heart. I would type something straightforward - she would say I said or felt something else. What? Reading back - I didn't see anything like THAT. Okay whatever. Here's the best part - before I had to opportunity to say "Bye, see ya" - she said it to me!
Now you all know that I am a very direct person. You can't really attribute emotions to my words if you can't hear my voice, but if I say I'm not angry, I'm really not angry. I'm not really good at hiding my feelings, never have been.
Do you know what I feel now? Relief. It is over and done. Maybe at some point we can be family again, but my in-laws are a true blessing and I'm so happy to have them in my life - chainsmokers and all.
It also helped me realize something. I am really and truly happy with life. Joy is not something I struggle with anymore. I don't need drama and I especially don't need someone else's. Life is great and I'm blessed.
To quote "The Devil Wears Prada": that's all.
My mother's family has always been FAMOUS for drama. Good Lord. They can take what you say and twist it and make it your fault. Actually - not they. Only a select few. My mother was one and now she is in heaven and pain is gone forever - physical, emotional and otherwise.
Here's the thing. I was recently in contact with a cousin I haven't heard from or seen since my mother's death. And I discovered something... she has ALL the drama. ALL of it. Bless her heart. I would type something straightforward - she would say I said or felt something else. What? Reading back - I didn't see anything like THAT. Okay whatever. Here's the best part - before I had to opportunity to say "Bye, see ya" - she said it to me!
Now you all know that I am a very direct person. You can't really attribute emotions to my words if you can't hear my voice, but if I say I'm not angry, I'm really not angry. I'm not really good at hiding my feelings, never have been.
Do you know what I feel now? Relief. It is over and done. Maybe at some point we can be family again, but my in-laws are a true blessing and I'm so happy to have them in my life - chainsmokers and all.
It also helped me realize something. I am really and truly happy with life. Joy is not something I struggle with anymore. I don't need drama and I especially don't need someone else's. Life is great and I'm blessed.
To quote "The Devil Wears Prada": that's all.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
AWOL
So I haven't posted in a heap long time. Sorry bout that.
Well, I'm continuing to be a loser... although a smaller loser... but losing still.
As of last Saturday it was 45 pounds, hopefully this Saturday will show more for me.
DH and I took a little trip to NC during Spring Break and I've got a couple of head shots. You can really see the loss in my face now. I look quite different.
Well I hope you enjoyed this edition of "Sarah is shrinking."
Well, I'm continuing to be a loser... although a smaller loser... but losing still.
As of last Saturday it was 45 pounds, hopefully this Saturday will show more for me.
DH and I took a little trip to NC during Spring Break and I've got a couple of head shots. You can really see the loss in my face now. I look quite different.
Well I hope you enjoyed this edition of "Sarah is shrinking."
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Half way done...
I saw a former student on Thursday who almost didn't recognize me. That was so cool. Down 42.8 pounds... I'm going through clothes like crazy. And loving the shopping thing.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
This is no secret... so shout it loud
I have lost 42 pounds since August! I have 43 more to go, so I'm almost half way done.
I'm adding the picture to my slide show that you can find in the margin here but I thought I'd do a little before and after...
I'm adding the picture to my slide show that you can find in the margin here but I thought I'd do a little before and after...
Friday, February 20, 2009
Be Careful What You Pray For
You may just get it.
I prayed for a challenge musically... and I got it yesterday. Out of my comfort zone and I think out of my musical range (note - I didn't say vocal). I've got my work cut out for me.
I prayed for a challenge musically... and I got it yesterday. Out of my comfort zone and I think out of my musical range (note - I didn't say vocal). I've got my work cut out for me.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Inspiration
I've spent my day off being utterly lazy but reading the blogs of people on the same journey I am on - namely weight loss.
Some of them are pretty depressing, actually. But our stories aren't so different. Some of us have a genetic predisposition for gaining weight, having inherited sorry metabolisms from our grandmothers and mothers - hello, diabetes? You are NOT invited to my house. Thanks, and buh-bye.
But also connected to our stories is how we have perpetuated our own demise, weight-wise, by continuing the bad habits taught to us by our fore-mothers. Interesting that fathers never come up in these stories? The only food I ever connect with my Daddy was his overly burnt barbeque chicken he always made. I thought it was mighty tasty but definitely not the comfort food my maternal grandmother (a diabetic) made. Oh how I miss her chicken and dumplings. And her, too. I miss her. But I digress.
There is also a turning point (hence the name of this blog) where we truly see ourselves in our completely unhealthy lives and know something has to give. I have been praying to lose weight for years. Then I got sick - with a metabolic chronic illness and gained even more weight. 35 pounds over the course of almost 4 years. You know what? At least 20 of those I put on myself through my own stupidity. Then my prayers changed - "heal me" what ever form that is and a transformation began.
First it began in my heart. I developed compassion for those with chronic illness, including my diabetic mother. To understand her, I needed to walk her path (or at least part of it).
I learned what real, unabating pain was like. It goes beneath the physical into your emotions, into your soul.
Then I began completely trusting God for my healing. Yes, I still take my medication and see the chiropractor for my pain, because He provided those for me so I can live a complete and whole life. BAM! Blessings began to pour out on my head. And I continued to gain weight.
When I became obvious that this was the last part of my healing - I prayed once again. Show me the way and I can't do this by myself. On that day, after much overindulgence, I marched myself to this laptop and signed up for Weight Watchers online. No meetings! I can do it in the comfort of my own home and on my own scale. So for 5 1/2 months I have been following this lifestyle.
Lifestyle, you say? Yes. This is not a diet. This is a live-it. I will need to live like this the rest of my life. And I am so happy to do it. I had to accept that when I get to my goal I will need to modify this live-it to maintain my weight, but I can never go back to the way I was. Why not? Because it was killing me. God made me for a higher purpose than that. My husband deserves it. My kids deserve it. And I deserve it.
My daily prayer? "Lord Jesus I need you today to help me make the right choices." It goes beyond food. But food is part of it. With His help, I will make it and I will honor Him while I do it.
Some of them are pretty depressing, actually. But our stories aren't so different. Some of us have a genetic predisposition for gaining weight, having inherited sorry metabolisms from our grandmothers and mothers - hello, diabetes? You are NOT invited to my house. Thanks, and buh-bye.
But also connected to our stories is how we have perpetuated our own demise, weight-wise, by continuing the bad habits taught to us by our fore-mothers. Interesting that fathers never come up in these stories? The only food I ever connect with my Daddy was his overly burnt barbeque chicken he always made. I thought it was mighty tasty but definitely not the comfort food my maternal grandmother (a diabetic) made. Oh how I miss her chicken and dumplings. And her, too. I miss her. But I digress.
There is also a turning point (hence the name of this blog) where we truly see ourselves in our completely unhealthy lives and know something has to give. I have been praying to lose weight for years. Then I got sick - with a metabolic chronic illness and gained even more weight. 35 pounds over the course of almost 4 years. You know what? At least 20 of those I put on myself through my own stupidity. Then my prayers changed - "heal me" what ever form that is and a transformation began.
First it began in my heart. I developed compassion for those with chronic illness, including my diabetic mother. To understand her, I needed to walk her path (or at least part of it).
I learned what real, unabating pain was like. It goes beneath the physical into your emotions, into your soul.
Then I began completely trusting God for my healing. Yes, I still take my medication and see the chiropractor for my pain, because He provided those for me so I can live a complete and whole life. BAM! Blessings began to pour out on my head. And I continued to gain weight.
When I became obvious that this was the last part of my healing - I prayed once again. Show me the way and I can't do this by myself. On that day, after much overindulgence, I marched myself to this laptop and signed up for Weight Watchers online. No meetings! I can do it in the comfort of my own home and on my own scale. So for 5 1/2 months I have been following this lifestyle.
Lifestyle, you say? Yes. This is not a diet. This is a live-it. I will need to live like this the rest of my life. And I am so happy to do it. I had to accept that when I get to my goal I will need to modify this live-it to maintain my weight, but I can never go back to the way I was. Why not? Because it was killing me. God made me for a higher purpose than that. My husband deserves it. My kids deserve it. And I deserve it.
My daily prayer? "Lord Jesus I need you today to help me make the right choices." It goes beyond food. But food is part of it. With His help, I will make it and I will honor Him while I do it.
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