Thanksgiving and Grief

... what a title, huh?  Well, that's what I am living in right now - at the same time.
What seems like two totally different and contradictory feelings or expression can actually co-exist and make sense.

On Thanksgiving day, a young man named Jonny, also a teacher where I work, passed away from colon cancer.  He had only been diagnosed since March, so his death seemed so quick to us.  He was 32 years old and it seems senseless to us.  Our school and family (for we are family at my school) are grieving and found ourselves with a deep sadness on the day we were gathered to give thanks for our blessings.

Jonny's wish from the beginning was for God to be glorified.  And He was.  Oh boy, He was and is.  The students have prayed more than ever before.  They have been first-hand witness to an unwavering and beautiful faith.  We see the results everyday of faith that is beautiful and transparent. 

So in the midst of our grief, we give thanks for a life now in Heaven, receiving his reward.  We give thanks for a young man who was not ashamed of the Gospel.  We give thanks for his example.  We give thanks for the beautiful way in which he worshiped.  We give thanks that he was our friend and our brother.

Our tears are not for him - they are for us, for we are mourning our loss.  We feel it everyday when he is not standing at the hand sanitizer machine with his large Chick-fil-a sweet tea.  We see it in the eyes of our students, when a memory occurs to them or when they are just plain sad.  So we will grieve.

And we thank God.

Withdrawal

So my daughter, the author of this blog: Simple Things in a Complex World is currently in England on a trip from school. 

They are staying in a centuries old manor, have hiked in the Lakes, attended church and youth group, and are forming bonds with classmates that I hope will last a lifetime.

And I miss her.

I am very proud of her for going on this adventure, but it is so hard keeping up when technology fails (her skype isn't working).  I am loving hearing of the new wonders she has seen and I can't wait to hear more.

This is just practice for when she is regularly gone - next year in college.  Oh my, 18 years have gone by so fast.  Where's the pause button?

Never forget

This is a bitter day. A day I will never forget. No sweetness about it except for the memory of joining in prayer with my friends. We were fearful and crying out to God, waiting on word from our loved ones and wondering if tragedy would come to Georgia as well.

My friend at Be Still and Know wrote a beautiful tribute after September 11th nine years ago.  I have always been a fan of Mr. Rogers, so her words just resonated with me.

Also, tomorrow is the sixth anniversary of Carter Martin's beautiful ascent to heaven, after a battle with cancer.  He was just 7 years old.  You can read his story here:  Carter Samuel Martin.  Although his family doesn't write on the page anymore, they are actively fighting the battle of childhood cancer, partnered with our school in an annual campaign to raise money for the cure.

I will never forget.

Headaches, Haircuts/color & Hypothyroids

Today is triple H day apparently. HA HA HA.

First today I woke with a headache - the result of low pressure from storms coming through. Not that we actually GOT rain. But we do need it. Sorry, I don't want your cures or remedies for my headache, as I get them frequently, and I am an expert at all cures and headache remedies.

Second I got my hair colored, highlighted and cut. I now look the way God intended me to look :). Katie at Absolute Hair in Buford is fabulous with my hair and gives the absolute best scalp massage in the world, giving relief to the aforementioned headache from H E doublehockeysticks. See - a tie-in between headaches and haircuts/color.

Third, and my mostest favorite topic in the world - not. Hypothyroids. I have one. And if my meds aren't right then it is more hypo than before. And that is what I have been dealing with for the last 12 months. Now, I can't completely blame the meds because I didn't drag myself to the doctor like I should have until last week. He wisely told me that "yes, you appear to be messed up." And took 11 tubes of blood. YAY me. Oh, and I didn't even faint. The blood taking lady (phlebotomist for you medical types) was GREAT. No bruise or anything. So that whole weight loss thing? Kind of blown. Not kind of. Just blown. The sad thing is this disease takes away any control that is possible until the medication is regulated. The weight came off before and it will come off again.

And how does this tie in to my other title words? More hypo = more headaches. I can deal with it because I have a great doctor who wants me to get better and get out of his hair (j/k) - but really does want me to get better - and a great God who can heal me with or without medication. But He is choosing with meds and I'm okay with that.

I am such a bad blogger I make you poor, poor people (okay the one person out there) wait 4 months for a new post. Maybe with school back in - I go back tomorrow - I'll get more into a routine. So, to whoever may be out there, I'm signing off for now and going to lay on the couch.

Yes! It's finally break!

I slept in this morning - it was quite delicious. I'm not sure if delicious is the right word, but it has already made my day happy and satisfying. Really, it doesn't take a lot.

Not that I'm going to lay around and do nothing. I'll be painting DD's bathroom (once she clears everything out - hint, hint), and probably planning something for dinner tonight. But overall it will be a quiet, unstructured day for the first time in many months. DH on the other hand is slaving away at some client's office doing accounting stuff. I am very knowledgeable about accounting stuff - HA. Well, at least I know a credit from a debit.

Oh and DD and I have planned a girl's trip to Savannah in June. Hopefully she will be recovered enough from her surgery (another bone graft - urg) to enjoy all the seafood we plan to indulge in.

Have a blessed day!

Twas the night before Easter...

Tonight the family spent some time on our deck loving the Spring weather. DH and DS and I had enjoyed a grilled steak dinner while DD was on a date with her boyfriend. After she returned we laughed and talked and sang along with classic country songs. We also had a great chocolate chip cookie cake compliments of her boss for her birthday.

I had choir practice this morning and every once in a while when I do a lot of singing (Easter & Christmas) the TMJ pain flared up - darn it overuse! - and I had a pretty awful headache from the facial muscles spasming. I did take some medicine and rest it up and I think tomorrow will be okay.

As I do most mornings, I read some blogs. One friend just got out of the hospital with a miraculous recovery and I feel so blessed to read that news. But two young women that I have been praying for - one I do not know at all except through her blog and one is a friend of one of my students - are about to meet Jesus face to face as cancer has devastated their bodies and they need Him to alleviate their pain. I see my own daughter who has her own struggles, and is their age, and it tears my heart. I think of their mothers and how hard it would be to say goodbye.

In a little over a year my daughter will be leaving home to go to college. As difficult as that goodbye will be, I know it is a temporary goodbye. I will be able to call and text her. I realize that the goodbye for these mothers is also temporary as they both are believers, but their daughters will not be a phone call or text away. Other of my friends have lost children to death - and the pain they describe and the emptiness just seems unfathomable.

Tomorrow is a little bittersweet as I remember 25 years ago (on Good Friday) learning that my favorite aunt was going to die from her brain tumor. I remember driving her home in her car as a 17 year old and her leaning on me for balance that day. I remember that my mother drove my grandmother in my mom's car to tell her the news. It was a lot to take in. But it is a beautiful memory just between me and my aunt Ellen. I didn't have much to say but I remember buying her a little bunny at the Hardee's when I got her something to drink. She wasn't very verbal at the time and just said "Theodore" and I guess that was his name as that's what we called the bunny until she died. She also had an amazing faith that has taught me so much.

Twenty-five years - a life time ago. But sweet and I know she is in heaven with her family getting some sweet love from Jesus and leading the celebration. And I hope she's eating strawberries. I miss her! Happy Easter and may you all know the hope of eternal life in Jesus Christ.

Times are a changin'

My family is changing quite a bit. It's not recent or sudden - it's been a gradual process simply because they are growing up.

Next week my baby will be 14 years old. I can hardly believe it. He did something very adult this week and flew BY HIMSELF to Washington, DC to participate in a young leaders conference. He is learning so much there and showing so much maturity. Except - he is texting and calling his sister instead of his MOTHER while he is gone. HUMMMPHH. I really am very happy they have such a great relationship. And I'm glad he is so independent.

Now his sister is another thing. She will be a licensed driver within the month. Pray now, please. She will also be 17 at the end of this month. Yes, we delayed the driver's license thing. It was for the best and we all (especially those who share our roads) are okay with it. But now she wants a car. More changes for her: She has a steady boyfriend. He treats her like a princess which is good or her Daddy would fix that for her. We are looking at colleges.

More stuff at school is going on... more change... which I can't blog about now at the moment but be sure when I am free to type about it, you, my blogging audience will be sure to know. *looks intently* Hey, is there anyone out there anyway?

Oh and I got new hair again :) It was my coping mechanism while my baby was flying all by himself to Washington, DC. Okay - I know I said that already but I'm a mommy, okay?

Good - night!

To my new and old readers

Wow. I sure did take a long break.

Thank you to the three total strangers who made comments on that last post. I found it most encouraging to continue writing, although I mainly write for myself and my own mental health. Your comments were like salve to my soul - so thank you and I hope you were blessed.

Tonight I do not feel particularly inspired to write but I promise it won't be another 4 months. I have a lot going on right now and I'll be sharing about it.

But today I made a pledge to return to the healthy lifestyle that helped me lose 50 pounds. Unfortunately in the last 6 months I have regained 15 of those pounds :p. This weeks goal: drink more water. Then next week: drink enough water. A little baby step at a time will be helpful.

Until next time.