... is no surprise to my family.
I'm a problem solver. Let's look at the big picture, eliminate what doesn't matter and start narrowing down your options. Very algebraic, very mathematical - but when it isn't a problem involving something quantitative, I can't use my tried and true methods of problem solving.
Problems with people have too many variables. They are too unpredictable and full of surprises. You can try to anticipate and plan, but realize your expectations may not be met, and some new variable (change) can be thrown into the mix. The strategy takes a turn with a possible new problem to address.
As you can tell, I'm dealing with a problem right now of how best to care for my dad. We are in our second stint in rehabilitation following his August 22nd stroke, this time with an infection. He is weak and frustrated (and frustrating). There are many options at the moment and it is my job, and my job alone, to make some potentially tough decisions. My husband is definitely there to support me, give me advice, and ask some questions of things I may not have thought of. So while I am not literally alone, I am alone.
One thing is constant however: God is Creator of the universe and loves all of us. Jesus is the Way, THE Truth, and the Life. I feel His presence every step of the way, especially when there are no words to my prayers. His presence under-girds me when I am especially exhausted and provides clarity when I am confused.
I am grateful my mind works the way it does. It helps me to detach sometimes from the emotional side of things and works on those things I can actually accomplish - checking things off the exceptionally long to-do list. And then the Lord says, "Look how I made you. It's all okay. Get some rest. I've got you."