Sunday, June 21, 2015

It's bubbling, bubbling in my soul

As I think about how joyful (yes I actually said joyful) this day has been, I cannot ignore the shadow of knowing this is the day of Natalie’s graveside service.  But this post is not about her - it's about me.

I’ve been having serious voice troubles and having figured out why my voice is now restored.  No, it wasn’t psychosomatic – it was physical and is now being properly treated.  So I was able to really sing today without any pain or discomfort and had so much fun doing it.  To me – that is a reason to be joyful.

I have been married for 29 years to a wonderful wonderful man.  God has blessed me.  That is a reason to be joyful.

My son made it to the top of Mt. Kilimanjaro.  Those are all reasons to be joyful.

I have felt a very large release in feeling some obligation for my sister.  The weight which is dissipating, for it is not yet gone, does not feel like it is weighing me down.   I think I am now able to let go of some of this baggage.  That is a reason to be joyful.

I don’t know when it hit me today that I was feeling more than happiness – it is a deep bubbling joy.  I haven’t felt that very often in my life but it is so welcome.  So welcome.  So overwhelming.  I have so much to be thankful for.

I’m going to think about the joy today and enjoy it.  I know the doubts and sadness will come back for grief is a process, but for now, I want to ride the wave of joy given to me today by the Holy Spirit.

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