As I think about how joyful (yes I actually said joyful) this day has been, I cannot ignore the shadow of knowing this is the day of Natalie’s graveside service. But this post is not about her - it's about me.
I’ve been having serious voice troubles and having figured out why my voice is now restored. No, it wasn’t psychosomatic – it was physical and is now being properly treated. So I was able to really sing today without any pain or discomfort and had so much fun doing it. To me – that is a reason to be joyful.
I have been married for 29 years to a wonderful wonderful man. God has blessed me. That is a reason to be joyful.
My son made it to the top of Mt. Kilimanjaro. Those are all reasons to be joyful.
I have felt a very large release in feeling some obligation for my sister. The weight which is dissipating, for it is not yet gone, does not feel like it is weighing me down. I think I am now able to let go of some of this baggage. That is a reason to be joyful.
I don’t know when it hit me today that I was feeling more than happiness – it is a deep bubbling joy. I haven’t felt that very often in my life but it is so welcome. So welcome. So overwhelming. I have so much to be thankful for.
I’m going to think about the joy today and enjoy it. I know the doubts and sadness will come back for grief is a process, but for now, I want to ride the wave of joy given to me today by the Holy Spirit.