Occasionally, I journal. Well, lately I am journaling on a daily basis. I think it is really good for me as I process feelings, events, and the future.
I have mentioned before I was writing about the day I found out Natalie had died and all the details with it. I have moved beyond that day and moved into our relationship and frankly, how I am feeling about all of this. This journal is something I will never publicly share, but it helps me remember and then also focus on some of the specifics. It has been very hard and very healing to type about this on a daily basis. Being able to focus has been the biggest plus in the last week. I have even come up with an action plan, which as a task-oriented person makes me feel like I am moving forward, instead of spinning in place.
I am no longer feeling rage but a healthy, righteous anger. One that will propel me and will eventually dissipate.
I am currently reading a book by M. Scott Peck, "The Road Less Travelled." It is a psychotherapy book and very academic. I'm really enjoying it and relating a lot to the people and especially to the concepts. The next book lined up is also by Peck, "People of the Lie." I expect that one to be more taxing on me emotionally, but when it was mentioned to me, my ears perked up.
On a lighter note, I finished restoring some furniture for my daughter and it looks amazing. I also packaged some rosemary from my yard we had allowed to dry. So I also smell wonderful at the moment. haha. So if you were wondering if I were just lying around and being mopey - I'm not. I'm actually really, really good and pretty happy.