Today's sermon was on the fruit of the Spirit, joy. Honestly, this fruit is the one that I have struggled with most in my life. At least the outward expression of joy. Other people say self-control, patience... and I do struggle with those as well, but with self-control and patience I KNOW the response I am supposed to have to work on those things.
By nature, I am an introvert, meaning I feel more energized if I am able to be alone. Only then can I truly give myself to other people.
Thinking about it today, I consider those moments when people tell me I look sad or angry or upset or whatever and remember that in some of those moments I am actually very happy, even joyful but do not have the outward expression that some might associate with joyfulness.
I read scripture and sing songs about joy. When you have Christ in your life, how can you not be joyful? But if you feel it inside, but do not show it outside, what does that mean? I don't know - that's why I ask the question.
At this time in my life, I am completely surrendered to God. A year ago I submitted in obedience and blessings are being poured out upon my head. My cup truly overflows. But it is not easy for me to express in exuberant, joyful terms how this makes me feel. I have never been one to wave my arms around and yell, "Hey look at my joyfulness." That's just not me.
So how do I express joy? I think this is something I have to work on. I think this is a growing edge for me, outside my comfort zone. Those who know me best can see the joy. Those who don't know me at all may think I am a melancholy type of person.
It's time for me to get off of the fence and decide how to express the joy I feel inside. Because until I do I think my witness is not as strong as it can be.
How do you show your joy?